How Women TEST You and How to Handle It... - Dating Advice for Men Who Love Women (2023)

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How Women TEST You and How to Handle It... - Dating Advice for Men Who Love Women (1)

If you want to attract a woman, have her fall deeply in love with you, and make sure she STAYS in love with you, youhave topass her tests…

There’s no way around it.

And here’s the thing: If a woman’s attracted to you she HAS TO test you to make sure you’re really the guy she thinks you might be.

Now, she might not test youconsciouslyor actively create tests for you on purpose…

But even the sweetest, most flexible, giving, awesome woman WILL test you in some way if she likes you.


Because she’s (subconsciously) looking to see if you have theinternalqualities she requires

And for her to allow herself to become more attracted to you and/or fall completely in love with you, she must be reasonably sure that you have those qualitiesfor real.

And that means that she can’t simply ask you if you have them or let you convince her that you have them because you could easily mislead her.

And she can’t easily tell if you really have all of those qualities right away…

So, she has to find outif you actually have them by looking at your ACTIONS and REACTIONS over time (that’s why it takes longer on average for a woman to fall in love vs. a man – it takes longer for her to be sure that you have the qualities she’s looking for).

In other words, the best way for her to find out if you have the qualities she’s looking for is to TEST YOU to see if you have them or not.

And what does female testing mean?

It means that a woman pays attention to how you ACT and how you REACT to various situations over time to determine whether or not you’re (still) worthy of her interest.

And again, you absolutely MUST pass these tests at least most of the time if you want to keep her interested in you…

[RELATED: How to Tell if She’s Testing You vs. Just Not Interested]

So, in this article, we’ll cover a few of the most common tests you might face when you’re dating a woman and how to handle each of them like a champion.

*If you prefer listening to audio, check out this presentation:

==>Click here to watch on YouTube…

How Women TEST You and How to Handle It…

Remember: If you pass a woman’s tests, they’re actually golden opportunities to make her more attracted to you.

So, here are five of the most common tests you might face when you’re talking to or dating a woman and how to pass each of them with flying colors:

1. Initial Attraction Test

The FIRST test you must pass if you want a woman to be attracted to you or fall in love with you is the “Initial Attraction Test.”

In other words, she has to be a little bit attracted to you or at least OPEN to you when she first sees you in order for you to have a chance with her.

This test is the most obvious one because men (primarily) use this one too.

In fact, one reason you may not be aware that women usemany moretests than men is that physical attraction is the MAIN component of what you’re looking for vs. being A component of what women are looking for (so, she passes her main test in 3 seconds while you pass your main tests over 3 dates).

Listen, women are interested in looks too (and, of course, men are looking for other qualities as well)…

So, while it might sound obvious, we can’t just skip over this fact of life: Nothing will happen if she’s not at least open to you when she first sees you.


Now, you can’t control whether any particular woman will find you attractive or not when she first sees you…

Even if you’re the most handsome man in the world, some women won’t be attracted to you for whatever reason.

However, you CAN increase the chances that women in general will be attracted to you when they first meet you by:

1. Lifting weights and eating well…

Listen, the lean, muscular version of you will have many more options than the pudgy version of you.

That might sound obvious, but lots of guys skip this advice even though it’s a huge factor in attraction.

And, while you can’t control your genes, you CAN control what you eat and how often you work out.

2. Working on your body language…

The way you move and hold your body isveryimportant when it comes to initial attraction and the way she perceives you.

So, make sure your body language is on point.

(Click here for our comprehensive guide to attractive male body language…)

3. Developing your own sense of style…

Make sure your clothes FIT well. A few tailored shirts are better than lots of nice shirts that don’t fit as well.

And, try to dressonelevel above your environment. You don’t have to wear a tuxedo to a coffee shop, but a sport coat wouldn’t hurt.

Also, make sure your shoes are clean. Women tend to notice them.

4. Working on your social skills…

The more a woman sees other people enjoying being around you, the more attractive she’s likely to find you.


There are other things you can do to increase your odds of being physically attractive to women, but these 4 things will give you a great head start.

And then, once you pass her initial attraction test, the REAL testing begins…

2. Direct Verbal Challenge

This is probably the most common test you’ll face when you’re first interacting with a woman.

When you’re having one of your first few conversations with her, she might tease you, put you down, or say something negative to you or about you.

And the way you REACT to this tells her a lot about the kind of man you are…


You have three excellent options for how you can handle this one like a champion. All of them have the same effectiveness, so you can choose the one you feel most comfortable with and go with it…or, you can use the one you think is best for each situation you face.

When a woman challenges you verbally, you can:

A. Ignore what she said completely.

Just keep going as if she never said anything at all…

This one works extremely well and can save you if you don’t have a “witty comeback” or her comment catches you a little off guard.

Be cool, stay playful, and act like she never made the comment at all.

B. Agree with what she says and then exaggerate it.

So, if she says, “You’resuchan a$$shole!”

You can say, “I know, right…just the other day I went around punching babies and puppies. It was SO FUN!” 😉

Or, if she says, “You’re a player, aren’t you?”

You can say, “Definitely. You should see me at Bingo Night over at my grandma’s retirement home…The old ladies CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF ME!” 😉

Instead of disagreeing with her, DISARM her by agreeing with her and exaggerating it to the point of silliness.

Not only will you PASS HER TEST when you do this, it’s also really fun.

C. Respond to her comment as if it was a HUGE compliment.

So, if she says, “You’re so ugly…”

You can say, “Thanks! What else do you love about me?”

Or, “Awww…you’re SUCH a sweetheart…” =)

Or, “Have I told you lately how nice you are?” =)

Or, “Listen, I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work…your compliments aren’t going to get you anywhere with me.” 😉





For sure…

Especially when you start tofeelher attraction increasing because you just passed her adorable little test.

3. Jealousy Test

Show a woman that you don’t have the negative quality of JEALOUSY and you’ll get HUGE points…

And, there are two main ways that a woman might throw a jealousy test your way.

These are golden opportunities if you take them:

1. During your first conversation with a woman, she might mention other men to see how you’ll react:

“So, I was dating this guy on the USC football team for a while and he…”

Or, “You know, riding in my ex’s Lamborghini was fun, but…”


2. If you’re at a party with her or out at a public place with her, she will notice how you react when she talks to other men.


1. When she talks about other men, NEVER put them down…

For example, even ifshetalks negatively about her own ex,youstill don’t put him down:

“Well, he must have hadsomethinggoing for him if you were with him…”

Always take the high road and never put other men down.

Remember: It’s your turn now…all those other guys don’t matter AT ALL.

And, they have no effect whatsoever on her interest in YOU unless you get jealous and start saying things to try to make them seem less attractive or get upset about her talking about them. That’s how you fail this test.

Now, if a womankeepstalking about one of her exes or continues to talk about her problems with other men every time you hang out with her, stop dating her and move on.

Otherwise, take her mentioning other men for what it is: A test to see how you’ll react.

Show her you’re internally strong by saying positive things about them or just ignoring what she says about them and being cool about it.

2. When she talks TO other men, don’t react…

Just let her come back to you on her own.

If she’s interested in you and she’s a good woman, SHE will handle other men for you.

For example, if you’re on a date with her and you hit the restroom for a few minutes only to find another guy flirting with her, don’t get mad.

See howshereacts (now you’re testing her!).

If she’s interested in you and she’s a good woman, she’ll shut him down quickly and get back to you as soon as she can.

If she doesn’t, it’s a huge red flag.

Exception: If it’s her long lost friend or relative, she should introduce him to you and make you feel like you’re part of the interaction, but of course it’s cool for her to chat with him for a bit.

No matter what, BE COOL.

Same thing goes if you take her to a party, a guy comes in the front door, and she RUNS over to him, gives him an enthusiastic hug, and starts talking to him…

In this scenario, don’t react either.

Let it play out and see what happens.

If it was a good friend of hers or a relative that she hasn’t seen for a while, she’ll come back to you eventually and say, “Hey, that was X from X! I haven’t seen him in like 3 years…sorry about that.”

And then, because you didn’t react negatively, she’ll think to herself later: “Hmmmm…he’s the first guy that didn’t react when I talked to another guy…I think I’mreallystarting to like him…” <==In other words, you PASSED this test.

Now, the best thing to do when she starts talking to another guy in a situation like that is to start talking to another woman if you can.

Then, when she comes back to you later, she might say, “Hey, that was X from X! I haven’t seen him for soooo long. Sorry about that…by the way…who was that girl you were talking to?” <==This is the sound of you gaining MASSIVE points…

What you definitelydon’twant to do is to create some kind of negative confrontation with her. That’s how you LOSE points and fail this test…

And, again, if she kisses the other guy, never comes back to you, or doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, stop dating her and move on.

Otherwise, think of it like this: All other men in the world are like her brother or cousin to you now. Act accordingly and you’ll knock this test out of the park.

4. Flake Test

A flake test happens when a woman agrees to go on a date with you and then calls or texts you 3 hours to 30 minutes before the date and cancels on you OR she simply doesn’t show up for the date.

This one’s tricky because it can either mean a woman’s simply not interested in you (95% of the time), or it could mean that sheactuallyhad something come up that made her unable to make it or that she’s testing you (5% of the time)…

And, it’s always best to assume that she’s not interested in you in this case.

Luckily, what you do either way is EXACTLY THE SAME…


When a woman flakes on you, what you do is simple: Assume she’s not interested in you and move on.

Don’t text her again.

Don’t ask her out again.

If sheisinterested in you and something really did come up or she was subconsciously testing you, she’ll figure out that you’re not going to contact her again (you’re showing her that you won’t tolerate her behavior with your ACTIONS vs. getting upset and telling her) and then SHE will contact YOU to get things going again…

At that point, you can decide if it’s worth it to ask her out one more time or not.

And, if she’s not interested in you, shewon’tcontact you and you won’t waste any of your precious time pursuing her. That gives you strength and self-esteem you can carry with you when you meet the next woman you want to date.

One ninja trick you can try if you want (up to you, this has worked well for some of my clients in some cases):

When she texts you something like, “Hey, I can’t make it tonight because X…sorry!”

You cansay something like, “Ok cool. My friend invited me over to watch Moana so I’ll just head over there now. Thanks for letting me know =)”

Why is this a good response?

A. It shows that you’re okay with her flaking…

B. Itimpliespreselection…

In other words, it implies that you have other good options without saying that other women are attracted to you directly.

When you say that your “friend” invited you over to watch the movie Moana, she will most likelyassumethat your friend is a woman because that movie is probably not something your male friend would invite you over to watch with him.

And, if she’s interested in you at all, this will make her more attracted to you and make it very unlikely that she’ll flake on you again.

This might be “playing games” a little bit, but hey – if a woman flakes on you, you might as well play back a little bit if you feel like it.

Or you can just move on.

Either way, don’tshowher that her cancelling on you had an effect on you even if it crushes your heart into a billion pieces.

One last thing about this: Ask women to meet up with you for activities you enjoy whether they show up or not…

That way, if a woman flakes on you, you might still be able to enjoy what you got ready to do at least a little bit. And, who knows, maybe you’ll meet another awesome woman while you’re there.

5. Favors Test

During the initial stages of dating (the first time you meet her and the first 2-3 months after that), a woman may ask you to do small and/or large favors for her.

Whether she knows it or not, these requests are tests.


A. Whenever she asks you for asmallfavor, don’t just do it easily.

Ask for something in return before you agree.

So, if she says, “Hey, can you hold my purse while I hit the restroom?”

You can say, “Will you grab me a drink on the way back?”

Then, when she replies, “Sure, no problem.”

You can say, “Of course you can leave your purse with me.”

Or, at the very least, make her say, “Please…”

So, if she says, “Pass me the salt…”

You can say, “What do you say?” 😉

Then, when she says please, go ahead and pass her the salt.

Or, if she says, “Pass me the salt, please…”

You can say, “Sure, but only because you said please.” =)

And, if she won’t say please, don’t pass her the salt.

Now, doing these little things for her might not seem like it’s a very big deal…however,it iswhen it comes to attraction.

You don’t have to be a jerk; just don’t be too easy when it comes to doing these little favors for her the first few times you hang out with her and you’ll pass this test.

B. Don’t do ANY “big” favors for her until she’s your official girlfriend.

So, if you’ve been on three dates with her and she asks you to help her move to a new apartment, mow her lawn, wash her car, etc…politely decline.

Her: “Hey, can you come over and mow my lawn on Saturday? I’m super busy and it would help me out a lot…”

You: “No thanks.” =)

Or, “Nah, I’m not gonna mow your lawn haha. You can come over and cook me dinner instead though…” 😉

If she asks for LOTS of these kinds of favors the first few times you meet up with her, stop dating her and move on because she’s just trying to use you (vs. actually dating you).

Now, once you’re in a committed relationship with her, she’s already in love with you, she’s your official girlfriend, and you’ve been dating her for 2 or 3 months, you can do a big favor for her if you want.

Until then, she has friends who can help her move across town…So, let all the other guys who are chasing her do favors for her while youactually date her.

And that’s how you pass some of the most common tests a woman can throw your way…

If you apply everything you just learned, you’ll be able to make a woman more attracted to you instead of chasing her away. And, when you do, everyone wins.

Never forget: She WANTS you to pass her tests.

I sincerely hope you found this article helpful.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.



Advanced Free Training:
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Jim Wolfe is on a mission to help you permanently solve your dating and relationship problems on the way to helping 100,000 men live their ideal life with their ideal women and helping to increase the percentage of happy, healthy relationships from 30% up to 40%. Jim has been studying dating and relationships from the male perspective for over 17 years. Now, he has clients in 72 countries and counting and is the author of the "Attract and Keep Her" best-selling dating and relationship system for men.

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